My Superpower....and what it's taught me!

Yip, you're welcome to call me strange....for many reasons, but in this particular case, for calling my deafness, my superpower!  Yes, I know, some people refer to it as a disability, and as far as the Receiver of Revenue is concerned, I'm SO deaf, I'm disabled!  However, I think it's only a disability if you name it as such.  The truth is, it has taught me so much that I rather think of it as a super power! 

I can hear you wondering what on earth being deaf can teach anyone.  Well, I will try and describe the most valuable lessons.  

I've learnt to be tough.  You know that thing they talk about...the thick skin!  I'm a pretty sensitive soul, but my deafness has taught me to not take things personally.  Just to let things roll off of me like the proverbial water off a duck's back.  It has taught me that the general population is exceptionally judgmental...and quick to judge at that!  They are very quick to judge you as really stupid or very rude....they don't seem to consider for a single moment that you're deaf and may not have heard them at all.  That's ok, it's their issue, not mine.  Their loss, for not getting to know who I am.  LOL!  

I've learnt that my little family are totally amazing individuals!  My kids, having grown up with a deaf mom since birth,  know exactly how to communicate with me successfully.  They just know they need to get my attention first, then what follows my be normal human speak, or it may consist of a manic combination of signs...which produce, not only near perfect communication, but often many laughs too!  Kids are awesomely creative!  They truly keep me sane!  My poor husband, I nearly drove him off the rails, but he colluded behind my back with my audiologist and got me a really powerful hearing aid.  Something without which I'd be a complete recluse and he would be insane! Best surprise gift ever!

I've learnt even more patience than I was naturally blessed with!  With myself and with others.  When you're told in your early twenties that you not only have an inherited, progressive deafness, but that it has affected both your ears aggressively, you kind of give life a good think.  You learn to become completely non-judgmental.  The cliche that each one of us is fighting battles that nobody knows about is too true.  It's taught me to have patience with my fellow man.  You know that guy that you kindly let into traffic that doesn't bother to thank you....well, maybe is deep in thought about his dying mother.  You know that patient that comes in and is as rude as all hell...well, maybe he is just angry at life because his wife is dying of cancer.  Maybe tolerance is a better word than patience.  

It's taught me creativity.  For example, I only wear my hearing aid at gym if I'm doing an actual class.  Otherwise I take it out.....then I would dread seeing anyone I know, as without my aid I'm totally useless at having a conversation.  Well, I'm the lip-reading queen, but still, I dread it totally and completely.  So enter the earphones and music.  I plug in my earphones, turn up the volume...yeah, way louder than you can handle :), put my head down and voila! People don't talk to you!  

It's taught me that my sense of humour is totally precious!  Sometimes the things I think I hear are absolutely hysterical!  I hang onto that laughter....because the fear of actually not hearing music or hearing my childrens' laughter, or the birds tweeting or the kettle boiling or my dogs barking or a million other things is just overwhelming.  

It's taught me love.  My friends are my treasure.  The people who accept me and love me, deaf as I am, are my rocks.  I will always remember bitching to a friend of mine, complaining that people just start talking to me, even if I'm looking away from them, launching into a conversation.  Then when I don't respond, they have a complete hissy fit and accuse me of not listening, etc.  This friend simply said "then they don't understand you".  I cannot begin to stress enough how important these amazing friends of mine are!  Social gatherings are a total nightmare for me.  It always involves meeting new people and usually loud music and various competing noises.  It takes every ounce of my concentration and energy to maintain "normal"  communication.  

It's taught me that my pets are such beautiful souls.  They don't care that I'm deaf.  They just love me.  When I am alone at home, they instinctively stay around me.  They let me know the minute anyone is close to the front gate and also by their reaction, I can tell straight away whether it's friend or foe.  

It's taught me huge self-respect.  Wow!  I'm actually okay - deaf or not.  I've managed to hold down a full-time, pretty responsible job for more than a decade.  I've managed to hone my other five senses to assist me with day to day living.  

As strange as it may sound, I am thankful to my deafness.  It's taught me far more than it's taken from me.  

Labels.....

After various things - chatting to friends, reading articles, experiencing life - I have been pondering "labels".  Labels we're given, labels our children are given....  

Many moons ago, and really, I do mean many, when I was a pupil (now known as a "learner"), we were classified into the normal classes and then there were those who were put in the special class.  I guess by being in the special class, you were kind of automatically labelled - most times negatively.  In the so called normal classes, there were the naughty kids, the good kids, the top performers, etc, etc.  Now by today's standards, our kids are labelled ADD or ADHD, or numerous other things.  Often they're fed Ritalin in various forms to "help them concentrate".  I take a metaphorical step back and I see that today we have this incredible wave of ADD and I don't wonder for a minute what has caused this generation to be ADD, but think that most of us were/are ADD/ADHD but were just not labelled as such.  Some of us were labelled dyslexic or dumb or stupid or slow or naughty...ag man.... pick your label!  I realise now that my two kids have a mom and dad who are both deserving of the ADD label.  Well, I can tell you something, I rejoice in my ADD!  I harness it and ride it like a rodeo horse!  And hopefully I've encouraged my offspring to do the same.  

Labels are not what we give ourselves, or shouldn't be anyway, but what other people give us.  We should only have one label for ourselves and that is one of unlimited awesomeness,  or perhaps endless potential, or maybe undeniably brilliant.  I say shake off those labels that people stick on us and realise that we are what we believe we are.  Let's take that a step further and start to view the individuals around us as incredible, special, amazing souls.  That way, we don't put people in boxes and expect a certain kind of behaviour.  I believe it was Henry Ford who said "if you believe you can or you believe you can't, you'll be right".  The interesting thing is, that those kids in the special classes are mostly today highly successful adults, while many of the top achievers at school are now simply idling along in life, or sometimes, down and out.  

Let's all take a deep breath and believe we can, and have faith that those around us can too, no matter what label society has decided to stick on you. Rejoice in your uniqueness and go out there and be the best, most awesome, beautiful you, you can be!  

In pursuit of happiness....

Happiness....what is it?  

I've been thinking a lot lately about happiness.  How do you define it?  Is it a static thing?  

Well I reckon it's a very complex thing and highly individual too.  What makes me happy may not make another happy and vice versa.  Happiness, I believe, is a choice.  Yip, you heard me right!  There is no person, animal, thing or action that can make you happy unless you have happiness in your soul already.  To create it, I think you need to make a decision each and every night and morning to be happy.  How can anyone not lie down on a comfortable bed in a secure home, with food in your tummy, ready to recharge those batteries, and not find joy in that?  How can anybody wake up, turn on the shower taps and step into a warm shower with clean water and soap and not find joy in that? And let's face it, if it's something we create, nobody can take it away from us!  Yeah!!

Yes, most of us working class people have enormously rushed lives, and big stresses and it's very easy to get caught up in them.  It's very easy to slip into a pity party when the young guy in the latest Jaguar growls past and you wonder "why isn't that me?".  Life is a struggle but if you continue focusing on the stresses and struggles, you'll put out your little happiness light.  For people with major health issues, life is often a daily struggle and I think for them it's vitally important to find things that lets their little happiness light burn bright.  

Walking through the Mall, I was shocked.  I love watching people, however, the shocking thing was that very few people looked happy.  Where are the smiles?  Yes, crime stats are up, the economy is down, yadda yadda, blah blah, but there is always something to smile about. 

Come on people, let's spread a little cheer and get our little happiness lights shining! Do something crazy, something fun....something that makes your soul sing.  It's contagious so let's go out there and spread the love! 

It starts with a smile!

Photography:  Nikki Biggs